dating

Yin & Young - EP41 - Filmmaker Jeff Man - Loneliness, Growth, Acceptance

Welcome back! It’s been 3 months, but this podcast is still alive! If you’d like to help us out to be more consistent, consider being a patron on our Patreon or offering your skills as an audio editor. Email us at yinyoungpodcast[at]gmail.com.

In Yin & Young episode 41, we chat with Jeff Man about filmmaking, mental health, and being more accepting.

HIGHLIGHTS:

  • Dating and loneliness.

  • Dan consumes podcasts in 2x

  • Jeff grew up in DC, which has a diverse population.

  • Parents grew up in Hong Kong.

  • Spoke Cantonese, Mandarin, and English as a kid. Ended up in ESL in kindergarten and resented it.

  • Watching Chinese films helped with his language skills.

  • Uncle was a big movie buff.

  • Has been in LA for 9 years. When Jeff first moved here, it was a hard transition. “LA is a very lonely city.”

  • Jeff’s boss encouraged him to make short films by giving him a $100 monthly budget. You can see all his films here: Jeff Man on Vimeo

    • Midday Crisis is about a depressed man who calls a suicide hotline; based on a personal experience.

    • Jeff’s short documentary “A Family Day”, follows his grandmother, who has Alzheimer’s, for one day.

    • Santa Claus, in which Jeff directs and acts in, two lonely people share a contentious X-mas dinner.

  • He loves documentaries as well as the narrative form.

  • Discussion gets deep into Invisibilia’s podcast - A Very Offensive Rom-Com

    • White male Asian female coupling

    • Asian male desirability

  • Everyone has their own preferences.

  • Wishes people had more self-awareness.

LANGUAGE CORNER

Chinese Internet Slang (fr. James) - 拉黑 (lāhēi) which is short for 拉到黑名單 (lādàohēimíngdān) - put on a blacklist

Mandarin (fr. Jeff) - 男子漢大丈夫流血不流淚 (nánzǐhàn dàzhàngfū liúxuè bù liúlèi) - real men shed blood, not tears [Jeff disagrees]

Japanese (fr. Dan) - 勿体無い (もったいない) - mottainai - wasteful/what a waste

Listen to Yin & Young: Website | iTunes | Facebook | YouTube | Spotify | Stitcher

Yin & Young EP37 - Dating Coach Jeremy Jong

Merry Christmas Yin & Young listeners! Today, we're sharing a very special episode, particularly for those men looking for that special someone this holiday season and into the new year. James (aka Young) interviews Jeremy Jong, an experienced relationship and dating coach with a focus on helping Asian American men attract the women of their dreams.

Highlights:

  • Jeremy shares his strict Christian and Taiwanese tiger mom upbringing.

  • Focus on inner work and keystone habits.

  • Dealing with anxiety and toxic/sexual shame.

  • Why the focus on the Asian American heterosexual male audience.

  • Being proud of Asian culture and who you are.

  • Healthy sexuality.

  • Use the testing mindset: Don’t over intellectualize, just go out there and practice.

  • Compulsive pick up versus genuinely wanting to talk to a woman.

For more info about Jeremy Jong:

  • Website: https://jeremyjong.com/

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fearlessasianman/

Language Corner:

  • Spanish: te ves bien - you look good

  • Mandarin: 泡妞 - pao4 niu1 - pick up chicks

Yin & Young links:

* Main Website: http://www.jamesyshih.com/yin-young-podcast/

* iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/yin-young-podcast-jys/id1185421015?mt=2

* Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yinyoungpodcast/

* YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkvtVW6pVPeKFn7H_6ai8lA?

* Stitcher - https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/yin-young-podcast

Yin & Young EP36 - Don't Just Settle

Full video of Yin & Young EP36. Note: Video cuts out at 46:12, audio continues.

Yin & Young are back with a new podcast, the two of them revisit important topics and Young shares new stories:

Catching up on what we've been doing.

Yin got his Certified Scrum Master

Talking about taxes and specialization

Discussion turns toward natural talent and effort

We go over Young's dating life: the Pharmacist and the Waitress

What age difference is too great?

Talk about interracial relationships

How it bothers us sometimes to meet Asian women who won't date Asian men

Language Corner:

Japanese - 有り難迷惑 - arigata meiwaku: feeling you get when someone offers unwelcome assistance and complicates matters, but you feel obligated to feel grateful because their intentions are pure.

Mandarin:

勸君莫惜金縷衣

勸君惜取少年時。

花開堪折直須折

莫待無花空折枝。

quàn jūn mò xī jīn lǚ yī

quàn jūn xī qǔ shàonián shí.

huā kāi kān zhé zhí xū zhé

mò dài wú huā kōng zhé zhī

Cherish not, robes embroidered in gold thread;
Cherish the days of your youth instead.
Pluck flowers while they’re still in bloom, 
Lest you pluck but bare branches.

Yin & Young links:

* Main Website: http://www.jamesyshih.com/yin-young-podcast/

* iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/yin-young-podcast-jys/id1185421015?mt=2

* Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yinyoungpodcast/

* YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkvtVW6pVPeKFn7H_6ai8lA?

* Stitcher - https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/yin-young-podcast

Yin & Young EP32 - Film Talk and Death & Dating in Taiwan

Yin & Young discuss film and Young returns to Taiwan for a funeral and revisits a potential love.

Cinema Corner/Film Talk:
INFINITY WAR 00:00 - 14:10
* Dan liked that every hero's scene wasn't shortchanged.
* James was fairly positive about the film, you can listen to his movie debate on The Movie Standoff.
* Picking nits about some of the relationships of the movie.
* Thanos vs Apocalypse (X-Men)
* Apocalypse looked too cartoonish
SOLO  14:10 - 22:15
* ”Solo" James didn't enjoy the movie as much as "The Last Jedi".
* Dan thinks Kathleen Kennedy has lost her touch.
* There are no real stakes.

Back to Taiwan 22:15 - 32:00
The Funeral
* James went back to Taiwan to pay last respects to his grandmother.
* James reconnected with his mom after the funeral and was glad to see his mother's interactions with her siblings.

The Date in Taiwan 32:00 - 59:00
* James went on a date and was overthinking things. (小劇場 - xiao3ju4chang3 - lit. small stage play, but colloquially means “to overthink”)
* Date 1: They were sitting at Shida park and chatted, but James regrets not pushing things more.
* James utilized visualization techniques prior to his next date that helped him be more confident and bold and ask her back to his place.
* While they are watching a movie, James makes a move.
    * Listen for the outcome =)
* James gets his question answered.
* Dan shares his past dating experiences.
* James shares a time he got high.

Approaching Women 59:00 - 1:12:20
* James approaches a woman in a parking lot. Learns that he needs to be less creepy.
* Dan gives his approach tips.
* Attachment theory: Anxious, Avoidant, Secure
* James believes he deserves someone that’s emotionally stable.

Language Corner: 1:12:20 - 1:17:06
* 豁然開朗 - Huo4ran2kai1lang2 - suddenly see the light, a lyric from a song by Touming Magazine (透明雜誌).
* めぐら - megura - blinded by love

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Yin & Young links:
* Main Website: http://www.jamesyshih.com/yin-young-podcast/
* iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/yin-young-podcast-jys/id1185421015?mt=2
* Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yinyoungpodcast/
* YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkvtVW6pVPeKFn7H_6ai8lA?
* Stitcher - https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/yin-young-podcast

Yin & Young Episode 29 - Cinema Corner & James' Trip to Korea and Taiwan

Yin & Young EP29 - FULL EPISODE

In this episode Y&Y review: The Last Jedi, Blade Runner 2049, and Lady Bird. James shares his adventures in Seoul, South Korea and Taiwan, and has a personal revelation.

CINEMA CORNER (Warning: Spoilers Below!): Time 00:00:33-00:34:45
The Last Jedi: 
* James had 3 issues with the movie: Luke, the jokes, and the romance between Finn and Rose.
* Dan agrees with a friend that the opening joke wasn't great. Dan doesn't like the physics or inconsistencies in physics: Holdo's suicide maneuver, bombers in space, and the end scene on Crait with Rose's speeder intercepting Finn's speeder.
* James doesn't like that Rey is so natural at wielding a lightsaber.
* Canto Bight scene’s totally useless.
* Anyone can use the force.

Blade Runner 2049:
* Dan - it's very racially monochrome, no diversity in the future. Didn't bother him, but it was shot beautifully. The movie was a little long.
* James - the use of Asian items without Asians. The film hypersexualizes women. Feels there’s a plot hole with the “real memory”. Still, an enjoyable film with some beautiful moments.

* Lady Bird:
James - reminded him of "Rushmore". Lots of teen angst and intelligent humor. A little salty a Californian wasn’t cast for the lead, but not a deal breaker. Not sure what Lady Bird's motivation is.
* Daniel - thought it was overrated, but enjoyed it.

JAMES’ TRIP TO SOUTH KOREA AND TAIWAN: starts 00:34:45 to the end
* James went to Taiwan for preproduction on his short film. Did some location scouting. Also shot a mini-short film while there.
* James tried Tinder in Taiwan. Got 4x more likes in Taiwan vs. in America.
* More dating opportunities for Asian American men.
* Had a great date with a Japanese girl he met at a Taipei intersection. Focused on getting to know her emotionally.
* Seoul, Korea - Super cold weather. James doesn't speak Korean. Hung out with Teo. Met with Seng and his wife, had Korean BBQ. Had ginger chicken soup. Stayed in 3 different areas of Seoul: Hongdae (홍대/弘大), Gyeongbokgung (경복궁/景福宮), Sadang (사당/舍堂).  
* Saw a gorgeous girl at the restaurant and gave her his Kakao username. Was one of the scariest moments he ever had.
* At another restaurant, James sees an attractive girl  and asked her for directions to the palace. The girl writes detailed directions for James and lets her food get cold, despite his polite protestations. 
* Highlight of the trip: At his 3rd Airbnb, joins a party of young artists/creatives. Screens his short film "Painting Hands" and others . (films at www.jamesyshih.com)
* He talks to some girls at a bar with no success.
* James realizes the reason why he seeks women's affection.

Memorable Quotes:
Dan: All my grievances with “The Last Jedi” have to do with physics.

Teacher: With all these women, you’re posing to them a question…
James: Am I lovable?
Teacher: You have to answer that for yourself.

Language Corner:
Japanese - 今は今しかない - imawaimashikanai - There is only now, now.
Mandarin - 活在當下 - huó zài dāngxià - Live in the moment.

Yin & Young links:
* Main Website: http://www.jamesyshih.com/yin-young-podcast/
* iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/yin-young-podcast-jys/id1185421015?mt=2
* Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yinyoungpodcast/
* YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkvtVW6pVPeKFn7H_6ai8lA?
* Stitcher - https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/yin-young-podcast

Yin & Young EP29 (30 sec trailer).

Yin & Young #3 - Americanness, James’s Bad Date, Dan Ghosts on a Girl

Happy Holidays! In this episode, Dan and James talk about the different nuances of Americanness. James shares a bad date he had with a overly critical girl and the concept of being thirsty versus being hungry sexually (thanks to DS for the share). Dan reveals his knowledge of forbidden martial arts, his terrible matchmaking experience, and why it’s ok to ghost.

James's movie review of "Arrival": https://letterboxd.com/film/arrival-2016/

For another perspective on why ghosting might be bad: http://lifehacker.com/why-i-stopped-ghosting-1789214550

Here's a short clip from the episode: