In this episode we're joined by my good college friend Nick Louie. We met as actors in the undergraduate UCSD Theatre program, and were both part of the first UCSD Asian American Theater Festival.
Since then Nick, has continued to perform in theater while also expanding his professional career in AI safety and finance. During this time he got married and became a father. What's great about Nick is that he thinks very deeply and acts with intent in the different areas of his life, whether its acting, his marriage, as well as fatherhood.
This was a great chance for myself (James), at the time of recording an expecting father, to hear from him what it means to be a father, and also to get Dan's perspective. This was a particularly important episode for me to chat with two Asian American men who are already fathers and it gets emotional as I recall my own father.
We chat about what it means to be a new dad and how to balance passions/hobbies while also working together with your partner to raise children. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as we all had recording it. Thank you. - James
Timestamps
00:00:00 Intro. Snow in Japan. Expected due dates for births.
00:06:21 Nick's background: Bay Area, UCSD, acting & career, marriage, fatherhood.
00:16:06 Balancing hobbies and passions with relationships and family obligations.
00:25:25 Getting to know your partner before marriage: dating, living together, premarital counseling.
00:34:08 Different views on marriage (love vs pragmatism). Talking with your partner about having kids. Compromises.
00:47:06 Timeline from marriage to pregnancy.
00:52:57 Advice to soon-to-be fathers about the birthing process.
01:00:17 Sleep deprivation, sleep training, co-sleeping, feeding schedules.
01:05:58 Paternity leave, work culture, and social safety nets around the world. Society can make it hard to have kids.
01:18:08 Values you want to teach your kids.
01:27:15 Staying Balanced:
James - Walks, physical therapy
Nick - Working on long term goals, teaching empathy
Dan - Kung fu (when not injured)
01:32:39 Language Corner:
* Japanese
親しき仲にも礼儀あり shitashiki naka nimo reigi ari
Even between close friends (or family), proper manners and respect are still important.
母乳 bo nyū
Breastmilk
* Quote/takeaway (from "How to Be Perfect"): Try your best and reflect.
Works Mentioned:
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, a Silicon Valley Shakespeare theater production starring Nick Louie https://www.svshakespeare.org/carol
City Walk - Directed by James Y. Shih. Starring Kristine Gerolaga, Nick Louie: https://vimeo.com/78450663
The Expectant Father by by Armin A. Brott, Jennifer Ash Rudick
How to Be Perfect by Michael Schur (creator of "The Good Place")
Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old by Suzy Giordano, Lisa Abidin
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin
Note: Auto transcription was used (MacWhisper), so there may be errors in the transcript.
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